"Parenthood"

I love watching Parenthood, the t.v. series .  One of the characters on the show is a boy, Max, who has Asperger's.  The episode I watched tonight had Max very angry with his mom because she told him to stop playing a computer game as the family was going on a road trip soon to visit his great grandma.

She had warned him multiple times and he ignored her.  Finally, the family was ready to leave and she turned off the t.v. screen.  This caused all of Max's hard played computer gaming time to be lost.  He was very angry and called his mom a bitch.  The look on her face mirrored mine the first time Moriah called me a bitch.  I remember thinking I didn't hear her correctly.  Where would she have picked up such a word? How does she even know how to use the word?  I remember asking her what she said and Moriah then responded, "shut up bitch."  I was so hurt.  I remember then ranting on and on about all that I do for her to make her life as happy as possible.  I remember thinking how futile it all  was as she didn't understand what I was saying.  I just needed to vent.  
We did not go to the grocery store like we usually do in the afternoon.

In the show, Max cleaned up his room and asked if they could now go on the trip he was grounded from attending.  His mom told him no.  Moriah later that afternoon drew me a picture and signed the word sorry to me.  She then asked to go to the grocery store and I had to tell her no.

I so wanted to let her go to the store.  She was crying and I never know for sure how much she really understands the connection between a negative behavior and a consequence.

Max made his mom a dinner of a bowl of carrots and condiments.  He had even set the table himself.  The next day he was laying on his bed and his mom walked in and asked him if he would like her to help him unpack his suitcase. He rolled off the bed and they began to take out the messily packed clothes.  Buried inside was a handmade card Max made for his great grandma.  There were bugs taped all over the front.  He had made her this card because he remembered that his great grandma liked bugs.  
The next thing you know, they were on a plane to visit great grandma.

Why is it that disciplining a child with a disability is so hard?  I know from past experiences with Moriah that she does learn from her mistakes.  I can see and  hear when she is trying to calm herself down and not lash out.  But I also know that it is much harder for her to control her impulses and to try and find order in what is a very chaotic world for her.  

I try to catch Moriah as often as I can doing the right thing, but when she slips I  will do my best to do the right thing.

The Zoo

"Where are we going?"

I can feel the warmth of her face before she even says the words. I am still in bed. It is 4:30 a.m.

"Where are we going?" she repeats, not in a whisper.

I lie there, with my eyes still closed knowing this is a very loaded question. How I answer will set the tone for the day. If I pick the correct subject, life will be grand. If I don't guess correctly, the next action from Moriah may be a pinch to my arm or a smack upside my head.

I take a deep breath and say, " the zoo." I wait, nothing. I was correct. She makes a happy squeaking sound and exits my bedroom.

"Where are we going?" Moriah asks again five minutes later.

"The zoo." I mutter

"Where are we going?" she taps me on my shoulder.

This will go on until we are at the zoo. The zoo doesn't open until 10:00.

It's a New Year

I tried calling Moriah at the usual time, but there was no answer. I guess that is a good thing. She must have gone out with everyone else at the group home rather than refusing and staying in. I felt badly last week because a staff member had to stay with Moriah rather than going to a holiday party because Moriah refused to budge from the group home. I was able to come and get Moriah early enough, so that the staff member could enjoy the party.

This has been a roller coaster of a year with my sweet Moriah. It all started with a little, tiny pill bug that crossed her path on a walk we took in March. Moriah's mission since than has been to collect every pill bug from our backyard, her school's property, her group home's yard, our neighborhood, the zoo, Target parking lot, and just about every place we ventured out to. She would dig outside in our backyard to the point where my plants were being dug up and I would spend the next couple of days replanting my lavender.

Thank heavens the weather has turned cold and the pill bugs have become more difficult to find. I told Moriah that the pill bugs are sleeping now. I am hoping by March, she will have moved on to a different obsession.